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Thursday, May 13, 2010

The art of catching a foul ball

When you go to a ball game you go to watch a game obviously, but you also go in hopes that you will catch a foul ball or if you're lucky and have cheap seats out in the bleachers you hope to catch a homerun ball. Poor people need balls too they're an important part of society who would cook those dollar hot dogs you eat. Anyways though when you catch a foul ball there is an art to it sometimes its the high priced art that snobby rich people have that no one gets and it's ugly, but it still looks good somehow in your living room. Maybe the big ass tv screen just makes the whole room seem nice in any event these are called ugly catches. They consist of drunk guys going after a ball and hitting kids spilling beer on women who are still trying to figure out what sport they're watching and then when the drunk guy gets the ball he looks for the camera, but he doesn't know where to look so it looks like he is getting chased by bees. Yeah that's an ugly foul ball catch, but still it's beautiful to that drunk dude. There is also the ugly foul ball catch that consists of the guy who looks like he should be able to catch a ball but apparently has never touched balls that weren't attached to him. He fumbles it around like Tony Romo in the playoffs and ends up trying to find the ball under the seats, and gets a wiff of some nasty trailer trash crotch.


Then there is the beautiful foul ball catch and that is of course the one that is caught on the fly or by a kid with a glove. But I look for the different kind of beauitful the one where it goes into the stands bounces off the second deck and lands on someone in the lower deck. Beautiful. Or the foul ball that doesn't want to be caught so it hides under empty seats and people are looking for it and they end up not even watching the game anymore. Then some guy walking back with his hot dog happens to stumble upon it. There are a lot of ways to catch a foul ball but just remember if a ball is coming to you catch the fucking ball, you douche.