I am confident in the fact that somehow Cliff Lee will end up reading this very entry to my blog, so I am going to try my best to plead for him to stay with Rangers. I have loved the Rangers forever, and have been obsessed with them forever. I'm the guy who would rather stay at home and watch a game then go out and possibly get laid at a club. Not that I would ever do that because clubs scare the fuck out of me, but you get the point, Cliff. When the Rangers sucked horribly for about 10 years I was still their biggest fan, and even when my friends made fun of me my obsession stayed strong. Besides the Rangers sucking for 10 years straight you know what else happened in those 10 years? They never had a true ace. Never, ever. Never a pitcher of your quality. Sure we're used to a few home runs now and then, but the truth is I'd take a 1-0 game over a 10-7 game any day. Ranger fans haven't been able to truly appreciate a great pitcher in a long awhile, and now we can. I'm appreciating the fuck out of it. I've never seen anything like it as a Ranger fan. Chan Ho Park wasn't even one merry go round. You're fucking Disney Wand. That is world and land combined.
Us Ranger fans we're fawning over you. You're Elvis, and we're your fans who are throwing their underwear on your mound. Please let us enjoy it for more than a few months. You're likable, and not a douche so do the world a favor and stay with the Rangers. The Yankees? Fuck the Yankees. Be different Lee. Be the leader of a team that is taking off, and won't look back for a long time. You'll just be another superstar on the Yankees. You'll be the superstar on the Rangers with a whole bunch of very capable robin's to carry you to the rings that'll be placed on your fingers. I promise to go to as many games as I can. I promise that I'll tell everyone about you, and I promise I'll always truly and enjoy and appreciate it when you pitch. It's a treat. Not just any treat. It's a running down the Ice Cream Truck treat when you're 10 and it's hot outside, and the only thing that you want is something frozen and in the shape of a rocket with bright colors. That's you, Lee. You're the rocket, and we're the fuel.
Let's go to space together.
That's baseball for you.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Dear Cricket.
Cliff Lee won his first game as a ranger, and the rangers are six up on the Angels, but you rain on my parade cricket. You chirp, and chirp. You're stuck in my a/c, and I can't get you out. I choose to believe you're chirping out of excitement for the rangers, but even that is not calming the rage that is building inside me at you. I don't want to hurt you, cricket. Not that I could since you're hiding like a little punk, but still even if I saw you I wouldn't hurt you. I'd just put you outside, but no you choose to hide and chirp. I don't know if you know this or not, but your chirping is very annoying. Sure I have an ipod, and I am currently drowning out your annoying chirping with music, but I can't sleep with blaring music in my ear, and I can hardly sleep with an annoying cricket chirping in my house. Guess what that is, cricket? It's a lose lose situation. I have stuff to do tomorrow, cricket. What are you going to do? Nothing. Now I am hoping we can agree on something before it's time for me to sleep. Maybe we can become friends, and I'll take you out to eat. I can put you in peoples food and laugh when they freak out seeing a cricket in their food. We can go watch other crickets, and see which ones you like.
I'll be your wingman so you can get some. Whatever crickets get, you'd be getting it. I'm willing to maybe drive you to a new home. Maybe a mansion somewhere that has really hot women living in it. Just please stop chirping, please. I ask you this as a friend.
Love your friend, cricket lover101.
P.S. Chirp.
I'll be your wingman so you can get some. Whatever crickets get, you'd be getting it. I'm willing to maybe drive you to a new home. Maybe a mansion somewhere that has really hot women living in it. Just please stop chirping, please. I ask you this as a friend.
Love your friend, cricket lover101.
P.S. Chirp.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Rap song coming soon
Yeah I am working on a rap song that I wrote for the rangers its entitled "We are the rangers" It's fully written. I just have to record it, and add some fresh beats to the mix. I'll post it on here and lonestarball.com
I'll give you a little sneak peak of the song.
"We haven't made the playoffs in over 10 years
And when you come to our ballpark we limit your beers
But you know thats ok, and that's alright
Cause we're crushing homers on your team all night.
We got a pitcher who just came back from japan
And a GM who has a master plan
A slick fielding shortstop who could just be god
And an Ex-Owner who basically got away with fraud"
So yeah. It's going to be horrible, and rapped by a white boy (me) who is not eminem. Look forward to it if you have low expectations.
I'll give you a little sneak peak of the song.
"We haven't made the playoffs in over 10 years
And when you come to our ballpark we limit your beers
But you know thats ok, and that's alright
Cause we're crushing homers on your team all night.
We got a pitcher who just came back from japan
And a GM who has a master plan
A slick fielding shortstop who could just be god
And an Ex-Owner who basically got away with fraud"
So yeah. It's going to be horrible, and rapped by a white boy (me) who is not eminem. Look forward to it if you have low expectations.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
The All-Star game.
The selections have been announced, and I don't care about the N.L. so if you want to know about their All-Stars go to mlb.com if you don't know what that is it's the major league baseball website. You can find scores, and news on Major League Baseball. Now about the A.L. Five rangers got in. Two starters Josh Hamilton, and Vladimir Guerrero. Reserves Elvis Andrus, and Neftali Feliz and Ian Kinsler. Five also happens to be the number of Ian's jersey just a fun fact for you. Thought I'd try out my announcing skills since they're always doing something like that. Random shit no one cares about. "Young has 23 doubles on the year, and 23 was the age the Rangers got Young" Wow amazing. nyways the All-Star game and the Home Run Derby are things I enjoy. Some people hate both, and thats because they suck and don't know how to have fun. If you have a league that doesn't have fun then you know what you have? The NFL. You know how their players have fun? They go to bars and get in fights. Strip joints. Shoot their foot. Fight dogs, and even change tires for people on the side of the road.
IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT HAVING ENOUGH FUN! Baseball players shove cream in each others face, and light shoes on fire. Sing in the dugout and do cool little handshakes. The NFL has butt slaps, and thats about it. Also you hardly ever see a baseball manager chew out one of his players on camera. The NFL everytime someone comes back to the sideline one of the coaches go down their throat. Shit I'd go to a bar and shoot my fucking foot too. The All-Star game and Home Run Derby bring fun. "Oh the Home Run Derby messes up my swing" You've been playing baseball all your life, and you're telling me you can't take one night off and just fucking swing the bat? That is really going to mess up you're swing? No it's not. Because I guarantee you that they do it more than once a year just fucking around with their buddies. It's all about curses and superstition. It's in their hands that it will mess up their swing so no one wants to do it. It'd be like going to a Kelly Clarkson concert and she never belted out a long loud note because she heard it can hurt your throat the next day.
People forget how to have fun. Just because you're emotionally involved in something, and care a lot about it doesn't mean you still can't have fun with it. Because at the end of the day what is it you're obsessing over? Baseball. Fucking baseball. If you can't have fun while playing/watching baseball then just slam your hand in your briefcase and fuck off. Stop breaking down the stats, and finding out who got snubbed. Just enjoy it. If this was the last All-Star game to be played do you want to remember it by who got snubbed. Or how much fun you had just watching it with your buddies? Just enjoy it. I try to enjoy everything. Like yesterday I had to go shopping with a bunch of other people. I fucking hate shopping, and we were shopping for five hours (which is the number of all-stars the rangers have) you think I'd be pissed. You know what? I was at first, but then I thought about it. Why be pissed off? Just have fun with it. So I decided in every store we went to I'd yell out a random phrase.
In Old Navy I yelled "Train stations are cool!" My friends scattered quickly. In Barnes and Noble I yelled "Cheetos aren't as good when puffed" My friends scattered quickly. In Dillards I yelled "Monkey Monkey rocking everywhere rocking everywhere" And my friends laughed, and joined in.
Have fun.
That's baseball for you.
IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT HAVING ENOUGH FUN! Baseball players shove cream in each others face, and light shoes on fire. Sing in the dugout and do cool little handshakes. The NFL has butt slaps, and thats about it. Also you hardly ever see a baseball manager chew out one of his players on camera. The NFL everytime someone comes back to the sideline one of the coaches go down their throat. Shit I'd go to a bar and shoot my fucking foot too. The All-Star game and Home Run Derby bring fun. "Oh the Home Run Derby messes up my swing" You've been playing baseball all your life, and you're telling me you can't take one night off and just fucking swing the bat? That is really going to mess up you're swing? No it's not. Because I guarantee you that they do it more than once a year just fucking around with their buddies. It's all about curses and superstition. It's in their hands that it will mess up their swing so no one wants to do it. It'd be like going to a Kelly Clarkson concert and she never belted out a long loud note because she heard it can hurt your throat the next day.
People forget how to have fun. Just because you're emotionally involved in something, and care a lot about it doesn't mean you still can't have fun with it. Because at the end of the day what is it you're obsessing over? Baseball. Fucking baseball. If you can't have fun while playing/watching baseball then just slam your hand in your briefcase and fuck off. Stop breaking down the stats, and finding out who got snubbed. Just enjoy it. If this was the last All-Star game to be played do you want to remember it by who got snubbed. Or how much fun you had just watching it with your buddies? Just enjoy it. I try to enjoy everything. Like yesterday I had to go shopping with a bunch of other people. I fucking hate shopping, and we were shopping for five hours (which is the number of all-stars the rangers have) you think I'd be pissed. You know what? I was at first, but then I thought about it. Why be pissed off? Just have fun with it. So I decided in every store we went to I'd yell out a random phrase.
In Old Navy I yelled "Train stations are cool!" My friends scattered quickly. In Barnes and Noble I yelled "Cheetos aren't as good when puffed" My friends scattered quickly. In Dillards I yelled "Monkey Monkey rocking everywhere rocking everywhere" And my friends laughed, and joined in.
Have fun.
That's baseball for you.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Breaking up
Normally I post funny stuff about baseball well not funny stuff. I post stuff about baseball, and usually it's not serious. Recently though I had a break up with my girlfriend of over two years and its fucking hard. I think its going to be for the best in the long run, and thats why I did it but it doesn't make it any less hard right now. Because you're living right now. You're not in the future yet. Right now it still hurts and right now theres still part of me that whats to take it all back. It wasn't working though there was more arguments than there were good times, and it wasn't healthy. If we both kept doing that then we might stop loving each other or something, and I don't want to ever get to that point with her because I do love and care about her a lot. As long she'll let me be in her life I'll be in it. I just think I realized as a couple we might just not work. As much as I wanted it too and denied it for a long time it just won't work.
It really sucks and I just want it to be all over with like I want it to a year in the future already and maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Right now it is and I'm sure it will be for awhile. I just hope she doesn't hate me completely and still want to be in contact because I don't want to lose her. Love is a weird thing, and after something like this it makes me not want to be in a relationship ever again because what if this happens again? I don't want it to happen again, but that is life right? Just like baseball you're going to fail sometimes, but maybe in the end it doesn't look so bad. If you go 0 for 4 in 8 innings and then hit a walkoff homerun the night doesn't look as bad. So maybe thats life and maybe you go 0 for 5 and then you walkoff with the right person, and maybe the right person is the person you don't think is right, right now. Who fucking knows really. Right now though I want to stay in the dugout for awhile, maybe talk with my friends, chew on sunflower seeds trying to break the shell of pain that I am in, and then maybe when the time calls I'll pick up my bat, and take another swing. If I miss then I'll try again.
Thats life for you.
It really sucks and I just want it to be all over with like I want it to a year in the future already and maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Right now it is and I'm sure it will be for awhile. I just hope she doesn't hate me completely and still want to be in contact because I don't want to lose her. Love is a weird thing, and after something like this it makes me not want to be in a relationship ever again because what if this happens again? I don't want it to happen again, but that is life right? Just like baseball you're going to fail sometimes, but maybe in the end it doesn't look so bad. If you go 0 for 4 in 8 innings and then hit a walkoff homerun the night doesn't look as bad. So maybe thats life and maybe you go 0 for 5 and then you walkoff with the right person, and maybe the right person is the person you don't think is right, right now. Who fucking knows really. Right now though I want to stay in the dugout for awhile, maybe talk with my friends, chew on sunflower seeds trying to break the shell of pain that I am in, and then maybe when the time calls I'll pick up my bat, and take another swing. If I miss then I'll try again.
Thats life for you.
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