I write this

I write this because I need to write this, not because I want to write this. If I don’t write this, I don’t think I will be able to get over the pain that I have just went through. I write this because talking to friends will not help. I write this to try to make sense of the horror I just witnessed. I write this to try to justify my emotional attachment to a little game and a team. If you are not a sports fan, then you will think this is silly but if you’re reading this, you are most likely a sports fan.

Heck, if you’re reading this, you probably know me because a road out in the middle of nowhere gets more traffic than my blog. So, I think everyone who reads this will understand.

Last night the Rangers were a strike away on two different occasions and they just couldn’t do it. Josh Hamilton hit a two run home run in the 10th and they still couldn’t do it. It’s safe to say that last night was horrible, but I still had a little bit of hope. After all there was still a game seven, so even though I felt horrible I didn’t feel like it was over. Well, it’s over now and I can honestly say I want last night back. Last night was freaking amazing, the Rangers still had a chance to win the World Series! That chance is gone, at least ‘til next season. However, the likelihood of going to three World Series in a row cannot be good, so I feel like this might be it for a while. Maybe my mind will change on that, but not right now.

I didn’t watch the last two innings. I just sat on my porch and thought about why I was so depressed and dejected. And, even though I thought the answer was a simple, “The Rangers lost in the World Series.” It’s much deeper than that. I’m depressed because I was counting on the Rangers to make my life better, to make all this stress of the real world go away. At least for a few days I could forget about it all and celebrate something I have wanted to see my whole life. But, that didn’t happen and now I am back in the real world and it sucks.

It shouldn’t suck, though. I shouldn’t depend on some sports team to make my life happier. Sports are here as a bonus in life, not a lifeline. So, this winter I plan to make my life better. I plan to live. And, I plan to root for the home team when the calendar hits April 2012.

Baseball is back!

We have survived the long harsh winter and now it's time for some baseball. I love the winter and the cold, the snow and even the ice. Winter would be my favorite season if it wasn't for one thing and that one thing? There is no baseball. Every winter I'm just stuck waiting for the Rangers to start playing again. Every year I go through this period where I think "Maybe I won't be so addicted this season." And every year that never comes true, in fact my love for the game just intensifies.

Last year my predictions failed miserably. The rangers went all the way to the World Series, I believe I had them finishing last. This year is no different. The rangers will finish last and I expect Seattle to make a strong push into first place leaving everyone in a coffee like dust. I'm a ranger fan, but I'm also realistic and I just don't think anyone can get past Seattle. I'll still watch every game, and I'll still go out and support the Rangers, but I'll do it with a closed mind. A closed heart, knowing no one can stop the train of Seattle, not even Denzel Washington. So I'd like to take this time to congratulate Seattle and to say to Ranger fans DO NOT be discouraged. We'll get back to the World Series one day, let Seattle have their fun. The price of gold is way up and King Felix has a shit load of it.

Saddle up everyone...it's gonna be a long season.

Cliff Lee is gone

I decided to write a little script of how the Lee, Rangers time together would have played out if it would have been a boy/girl relationship.


Click on the link below to read.

http://freepdfhosting.com/6920ba67bc.pdf

It's time

It's time was the slogan for the 2010 season and I thought it was kind of corny, but it certainly wasn't the worst slogan I've heard. It kind of got me going, I mean it's freaking time. We've waited long enough, some of our prospects are finally up and we added some veterans to help us balance it out. It's time. Let's do it. No more waiting for the playoffs, I want the playoffs now. The playoffs we got in this magical 2010 season and when I say magical I really mean it. That is the only way to describe what we saw this 2010 season, I mean sure I wanted them go to the playoffs this year, but did I expect it? Not so much. They proved me wrong and everyone else wrong this season. Not only did they go to the playoffs, they made it to the freaking World Series. At first the playoffs were just in someway gratifying, and it was "wow maybe I'm not incredible crazy for caring about this team so much" then after we beat the Rays it was just pure joy. What an amazing feeling it is having the team you care so much about make it to the championship. It was so sweet and so much fun to watch this team play this season, it was never boring. At times frustrating but it was never boring and that is because the guys on this team are so much fun to watch, so much. Sure you got the Claw and Antlers but if you know baseball and you play baseball you can tell when someone truly appreciates it. They appreciate it and watching this whole season it makes me appreciate baseball more.


Every playoff game I went to I always took a moment just to soak it in. The first playoff game this year I remember sitting in my seat way way up and just seeing all the towels flying. Now mind you I hate rally towels but it sure was nice to see at the ballpark. I always see them at Philly and to finally see them here with music playing and the crowd being pumped up. It was something I thought I'd never see at the ballpark. Then the night we won the pennant was the best night of my life. I'm so happy I was there and able to share and go crazy with other ranger fans. That night was crazy. It was like my hangover, except with no drugs or alcohol. Also no naked man jumped on me, however a guy without his shirt off gave me a hug and the smell of his funk is just now washing off of me.

So thank you to Washington, who overcame a lot this year. From the Cocaine reports to leading the team to a World Series.

Thanks to Michael Young who hasn't left this franchise and stuck with it through all the terrible times. It's finally paying off.

Thanks to Hamilton for being a Hall of Fame player and Hall of Fame guy.

Thanks to Elvis for being the 2nd best person named Elvis ever.

Thanks to Kinsler and an apology to his helmet that got pounded into the ground quite a bit.

Thanks to Neftali Feliz who throws a fastball that goes faster than my car.

Thanks to Cliff Lee for saving our butt this post-season.

Thanks to C.J. Wilson for backing up his cockiness and turning into a solid number 2 starter.

And Thanks to Josh Lewin who will no longer be announcing the games, but will always be my favorite announcer.

Oh and of course Thank you Nelly and your boomstick.

The Rangers are going to the world series

The day of.



I wake up and rub my tired eyes and try to remember what day it is "Wait today is the day!" I thought. Today is the day I get to go watch the Rangers try to win the pennant! I put on my claw shirt and head out to pick up my tickets, damn do they look pretty. The amount I paid for them doesn't look pretty, but damn do they look pretty. I lean into kiss them, then I think of how many people may have touched them and I settled for a gentle rub. The rest of the day was spent just waiting to leave for the ballpark, in fact I am pretty sure I have about 5-7 text messages and calls I have just completely ignored. My friends and family can understand, though. They know what this might mean to me. The time finally came and I was ready to leave, at what time? About 3:00. I only live about 25 minutes from the ballpark so I get there before they even opened the gates for you to go inside. Of course I wasn't the only one, there is a huge line waiting to get inside at all the entrances. Like a party at the playboy mansion, if you know what I mean. There is a camera crew to my left about to go live and do a report, but luckily the gates open right before and I can sneak in without melting their cameras with my good looks.


Well, I am in here. I'm in the ballpark and I hear we might clinch it. I hear in a few hours that we could be going to the World Series. I take my red pom pom and shake the thing proudly not because I wanted to shake a pom pom, but because I am nervous. I am lucky enough to get tickets where I barely have to move to get whatever I want in the way of hotdogs or drinks. I grab a bottle of water, and I sit in my seat watching the Rangers take batting practice. Look at the clock it's 4:25 and everytime I check the clock the more I regret coming early because I can barely contain myself. Time starts to fly by as do the balls that are soaring through the sky and denting the bleacher seats, because those pansies can't catch a line drive homerun from hamilton. Skip ahead and just as the game starts to be played, it starts to rain. The tarp goes on the field "WHAT?" No it can't rain now. Not now. Not when the Rangers are 27 outs from the world series. Not when I waited all day, check that all my life waiting for them to win the pennant. No worries, though. It stopped! So here we go. The game is being played. Right away I'm on my feet because Elvis is king and he lets it be known as he rips a double into the gap, and scores on Vlad's ground out.


I think to myself how big Elvis has been. How mature he is, he just goes out there and outplays the other team like he's been there before. In reality he has been there before as Ron Washington says "It's just baseball" Elvis has played baseball his whole life and he's good at it. Colby Lewis is also good at it and he proves it to me as he doesn't allow a hit till the 5th inning. The 5th inning is really the only time I feel nervous. People around me are joking as A-Rod scored that the game is over and they're going to leave and beat the traffic. I smiled to myself and cussed them out in my mind and focused on what I have focused on for my whole now and it's baseball. Wouldn't you know it in the bottom of the 5th baseball rewarded me and everyone with the Rangers greatly. The Yankees continue to walk Hamilton, and I had a feeling Vlad would finally get that big hit. I feel it. I think the whole stadium feels it, the stadium is rocking, literally. Bam! There it is a two run double from Vlad. I can't hear anything but loud cheers. It's loud, real loud. I wouldn't cover my ears, though. No way. This is the sweetest sound I have ever heard as my eyes scan the whole stadium seeing everyone just filled with joy. 3-1 and it's starting to feel like we might actually win. Before the stadium even sits down Cruz hits a missile, a fucking happy missile. People aren't ducking away to get away from it. They're flocking to it trying to get their hands on it and if they couldn't, their hands are being spent slapping against each other. The noise is at a 10, the loudest I have ever heard the ballpark.


Skip ahead to the Eighth and Colby Lewis has a 6-1 lead. He's working on a masterpiece of a game, only allowing 3 hits to the "feared" lineup of Jeter, Swisher, A-Rod and all the other overpaid people on the Yankees. He is completely out matching them and just to prove that he's so much better than them he ends his night with a strikeout. The Stadium watches the bottom of the eighth and everyone is on their feet, not because the offense is scoring but because we're all waiting for the top of the ninth. We're all waiting for the Rangers to win the pennant! The top of the ninth is here IT'S MADNESS! Everyone is standing every single strike, every foul ball anything that resembles a strike or a foul ball. Feliz is in throwing gas and strikes more importantly. Strikes out the first batter and the noise goes from 10 to 10.5 and then he gets the second the out and the noise goes from 10.5 to 11. Two outs and one out away from something I have been waiting for my entire life. As A-rod stands in I start to think about all the times I have sat in this ballpark with only 10,000 other people. Cheering on the Rangers even though they weren't the greatest team or even one of the greatest. WAIT! ALL THESE CHEERS HOLY APPLESAUCE A-ROD STRIKES OUT! HE STRIKES OUT! THE RANGERS WIN! THE NOISE IS AT 23456789 PEOPLE ARE JUMPING OFF THE SECOND DECK! Just kidding about the last part. Michael Young comes out of his shell he was a turtle and right now he's a bunny hopping around the field high fiving fans. The noise has went from a 23456789 to a 5432678956789.


I'm in shock. My eyes water and I try to hold in my tears because I don't want the people around me to think I'm weird. Confetti lands on my nose and I don't even want to get it off. I want to stuff it up my nose and keep it there forever, but I don't think that is a good idea so I brush it off. I watch as the ceremonies take place something I've seen on tv with the Mavericks, but nothing I have ever seen in person and not with the team that I hold so close to my heart. The party doesn't end in the ballpark though as I move out of the ballpark people are cheering and chanting "Yankees suck" people are clapping, whistling, and I was high fiving every person that wanted to high five. High fives are back. Cars were honking which I am sure made the Yankees feel right at home. This honking was "HEY I'M SO EXCITED BUT I AM STUCK IN THE CAR AND WELL FUCK I'M GOING TO HONK" not "I NEED TO GET TO MY BORING ASS JOB BUT I'M STUCK IN ALL THIS FUCKING TRAFFIC, MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR AYE" vuvuzels were being blown, bongos were being played and newspapers were being held up. I still hadn't shed a full tear.

However as I headed to the highway there was a guy holding a t-shirt that read "A-Rod swallows Jeter" and right there I shed a tear as the best night of my life was in full blast.


Thank you Rangers, Thank you.

Rangers win first playoff series

I'm not the oldest Ranger fan. I haven't been alive for as long as most but that doesn't make me any less of a fan. Anyone who knows me somewhat well knows how big of a ranger fan I am. If they want to ask a question involving the Rangers, they'll come to me. When I was 12 and everyone wanted to watch football. I'd go to Ranger games and sit in the bleachers, because I was poor. It didn't make it any less fun, though. One of my best memories as a kid/teenager was watching them comeback down 10 against Detroit. I was at that game and yeah it didn't seem like we would come back, but we did. Yeah it didn't seem like we would win after losing 2 at home but guess what? WE JUST DID! I've been a Ranger fan ever since I was a baseball fan, which is basically all my life. They never have been good and no one ever really cared about them. No one wanted to talk about the Rangers with me. I knew one day they would be the team I always saw them to be.

The team that makes me scream and jump up for joy. The team that makes me watch 2345678 hours of baseball every damn year. The team that can mess with my mood more than a girlfriend. I knew one day they would be the great team I always thought they were. Finally it's time. Finally people are talking about the Rangers with me, and it just feels so damn good. These guys are amazing. There is not one guy on the team I dislike. Every ranger game I have ever went to, and all the ribbing I have had to take from people for loving the Rangers so much. It's been rewarded. The more I think about the more I want to cry. I know a lot of people will not get having this much love for a sports team. Some people do and it was great celebrating with them on lonestarball.

It's time.

Texas Rangers AL West Champs!

Sometimes you get excited because someone in your family is having a baby, or maybe you're finally in love with someone. Maybe you got a new job. The point is you're excited and today all Ranger fans are having a baby, falling in love, and they got a new job. We have been unemployed for 11 years now and we've been miserable, single, no money, and no family. Today we have it all back, we can go buy clothes now and tell people what it's like to fall in love. Now people who aren't attached to a team like most of us are will not understand this. They may be asking themselves "How did they go so long without a job?" well a lot of faith is the answer. Faith in our team. Faith that they would one day pick up the greensheet and find a job. Finally we got hired. I was younger back in 1999 so I didn't fully appreciate what was going on. I liked the Rangers then, but I also liked riding my bike and playing truth or dare, chewing an insane amount of gum, and wondering if Chelsea really did like me or if my friends were pulling my leg. Now I'm addicted to the Rangers. I can fully appreciate it now and it is amazing.

I think the thing that was most amazing was Michael Young after the last out. You could tell that he was genuinely happy and glad he stuck with the Rangers so long. This is his team and he is leading his team into the playoffs for the first time. The times of first round sweeps in the playoffs are gone. We have ourselves a new job and it pays well.

Booing Colby Lewis.

On August 29th Colby Lewis had one of his few bad games. He's been a very solid pitcher for the Rangers and has had some terribly luck in his past few starts. He's been stuck at 9 wins for way too long but hasn't seemed to let it get to him. After today's game though the frustration came through and during his postgame interview he mentioned how he didn't appreciate getting booed. He was "disappointed" and thought "our fans were better than that" now the people that were booing him were not right. If they knew anything about the team they would know that he is one of our best pitchers and if anybody should be booed right now it's the lineup as a whole. Let's go further than that. You don't boo a guy going out there doing his best giving the team a chance to win. You don't boo again who wears glasses when he's not pitching looks like an average joe, yet can pitch like a #2 starter. You don't boo that guy, no. You wanna know who you boo?

Boo yourself. Look in the mirror, and boo yourself. This team is in first place by 7.5 games and you wanna boo cause the game you happened to see was a bad one. BOO YOURSELF! Go do it now then come back and talk to me and apologize to Colby. Should Colby had kept his mouth shut? Probably. BUT YOU DON'T BOO A GUY WHO IS GOING OUT THERE GIVING IT HIS ALL YOU JUST DON'T DO IT! I mean come on, guys. Come on. You look at his record and see 9-11 and you probably think he sucks. Don't lie to me, you think he sucks. Well how about you look at real stats and watch the games? How about that, you fat drunk. I bet the kid who was sitting next to you was wondering why your fat self was booing one of the best pitchers on the team. I hope he put nachos on your chair angels in the outfield style. Knowing your fatass though you probably ate them, you sick fat bastard. I bet the only time you stood up during the whole game was so that you could boo him.


Stretch those sausage links you call legs. Walk a little bit. I mean I know rolling up those escalators was tiring for you but maybe you would have lost a few pounds if you took the stairs, you fatty. Go to a gym with a big mirror, and while you're running on the treadmill just boo your fucking self. Boo those pounds off you miserable dip shit.

The mantis

It all started in Baltimore the place where no one goes for vacation, according to "ab03" then again that is fucking hyperbole, you bitch. Anyways it started there. Baltimore the city of I don't fucking know but it has to have something, right? Well it does now. It's the starting ground for the great Mantis. The rally fucking Mantis who started a 4 game winning streak for us! The rangers crew interviewed a kid during the game who happened to find a wild mantis, and proceeded to let it crawl all over him. This of course started a meme on lonestarball.com the greatest website ever. Besides this one, of course. The Mantis became huge! People were posting any picture of the Mantis they could find, and after we won it became even bigger. There was even some connection to the cockroach and as we all know Arias got DFA'D two days later, I believe after the Mantis game. The rangers won three straight games after baltimore against the first place Twins and I'd like to think it was because of the Mantis partly. So would hundreds of other people on lonestarball and I wouldn't want to disagree with them, trust me you don't want to do it.

The Mantis became the greatest thing to hit lonestarball since Knox fell off the skateboard, while racing a skateboarding dog. After four days and four wins straight the Mantis drew attention to the great people of Rangers ballpark. Leading the great people is Chuck Morgan if you don't know who he is, you should. He is the best person. Well, he's tied with the new part owner of the Rangers, Chuck Greenberg. The two apparently found out about the Mantis and liked it so much they wanted lonestarball's pictures of the Mantis, to put on the Big Screen at the ballpark. So I thought why not make something real quick, and see what happens? So I did and it made it on the Big Screen! Something I made was on the Big Screen at the ballpark where my favorite team plays. I know it's a geeky thing to get excited about, but I'm very excited. Thank you Chuck and Chuck for giving a fan a very exciting moment on a very sucky day. That's baseball for you.

Mark Cuban and the Texas Rangers

There is some speculation going on that Mark Cuban might end up being the owner of the Texas Rangers. Yes the dude in the picture. Yes it's true I picked a silly picture of him to show how silly he is, and that might not be exactly fair oh well though. Mark Cuban is obviously not just silly he is a very smart man. Look at what all he has done. He owns a freaking NBA team for crying out loud. A pretty good NBA team. I mean sure they can't win a championship, but as a Ranger fan I have no room to talk. I've watched my share of Dallas Mavericks game, and I know about Mark Cuban. I know how he acts on the sidelines, and the silly things he says and I know how much some people hate him. Me? I don't hate him. I don't even dislike him. I kind of like him, and I like his passion for the team. My only worry is that its passion for basketball and the Mavericks. Where is his sudden interest for the Rangers coming from? Is it his love of baseball and the Rangers? I doubt it. You doubt it. We all doubt it. It would be fun to see how into it he would get, though. Come with me in my dream land and lets visit what it'd be like if Mark Cuban went to the booth with Josh and Tag.

Josh: We're back, and we're lucky enough to have the new owner of the Texas Rangers in the booth. Mark Cuban. How are you doing, Mark?

Mark: I am doing great. So happy that this thing is settled now, and we can look forward to keep
building this team into the dynasty it needs to be.

Tag: When did you decide that you might be really interested in buying the Rangers?

Mark: Well at first I wasn't really interested, oh what the fuck? Did you even see that ump? Shit that was the length of my dick plus 5 inches outside. Where the fuck is your dog? You blind piece of shit. Anyways like I was saying I wasn't interested in them at first. You know I was interested in the Cubs, but it didn't work out. Then the Rangers increasingly became more interesting to me. So I decided to bite the bullet. Plus they're in the same area where the Mavericks are, and it just seemed right.

Josh: How much of the interest came after they had a commanding lead in their division?

Josh giggles a bit.

Mark: Ha you know it's funny you asked because believe it or not it was actually....oh COME ON! WHAT THE FUCK UMP! He was halfway into the outfield before the ball got to first. I could have made that call with your mom's titties in my face. You sack of shit. How did you get hired? How many cocks did you blow? Really honestly how many? I want to know. I'm asking seriously. Like I said though it was actually before they started playing well.


Tag: You're going to have so many apologies to say after the break. I once said "shit" on air, and it was bad. Oh shit I said it again. Motherfucker now I'm going to have to act like I care, and say sorry.

Josh: One and one the count to Borbon.

Mark: Make that two balls if the ump wasn't A BLIND FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Josh: You know they do their best out there. It's a hot day out there.

Mark: Oh what are you? Their publicist? Don't you have a chargers game to announce?

Tag: We have some goodies in the booth tonight. Thank you to Aretha Lanks for the wonderful batch of oatmeal pies she sent in today. Said they're homemade, so thank you very much Aretha.

Mark: Homemade my ass. I tasted one, and it taste just like little debbies. Aretha learn how to cook, and try again.

Josh: Borbon is out on a bunt attempt, and that concludes our time with Mark. Thanks for coming up.

Mark: Fuck you.




Hmmmm........bring on the cubes!

Cliff Lee don't leave

I am confident in the fact that somehow Cliff Lee will end up reading this very entry to my blog, so I am going to try my best to plead for him to stay with Rangers. I have loved the Rangers forever, and have been obsessed with them forever. I'm the guy who would rather stay at home and watch a game then go out and possibly get laid at a club. Not that I would ever do that because clubs scare the fuck out of me, but you get the point, Cliff. When the Rangers sucked horribly for about 10 years I was still their biggest fan, and even when my friends made fun of me my obsession stayed strong. Besides the Rangers sucking for 10 years straight you know what else happened in those 10 years? They never had a true ace. Never, ever. Never a pitcher of your quality. Sure we're used to a few home runs now and then, but the truth is I'd take a 1-0 game over a 10-7 game any day. Ranger fans haven't been able to truly appreciate a great pitcher in a long awhile, and now we can. I'm appreciating the fuck out of it. I've never seen anything like it as a Ranger fan. Chan Ho Park wasn't even one merry go round. You're fucking Disney Wand. That is world and land combined.


Us Ranger fans we're fawning over you. You're Elvis, and we're your fans who are throwing their underwear on your mound. Please let us enjoy it for more than a few months. You're likable, and not a douche so do the world a favor and stay with the Rangers. The Yankees? Fuck the Yankees. Be different Lee. Be the leader of a team that is taking off, and won't look back for a long time. You'll just be another superstar on the Yankees. You'll be the superstar on the Rangers with a whole bunch of very capable robin's to carry you to the rings that'll be placed on your fingers. I promise to go to as many games as I can. I promise that I'll tell everyone about you, and I promise I'll always truly and enjoy and appreciate it when you pitch. It's a treat. Not just any treat. It's a running down the Ice Cream Truck treat when you're 10 and it's hot outside, and the only thing that you want is something frozen and in the shape of a rocket with bright colors. That's you, Lee. You're the rocket, and we're the fuel.

Let's go to space together.


That's baseball for you.

The day of Lee

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Homeruns: Why are they called homeruns?

For many years now hitting the ball (the baseball) in fair territory over the fence is called a homerun. But why? Who came up with it, and why? I guess I get the run. You at least get a run out of it, maybe more. But the thing that has always bothered me is what if you are the away team? How would it be called a homerun? You are not at home, so it can't be a homerun. It can be an awayrun, but not a homerun. Has no one picked up on this? I mean it's ridiculous and a glaring error in this great game of baseball.

For instance I was watching a baseball game with my friends last season, and I said "Woo awayrun" and they looked at me like I was the stupid one, I mean really? I am the stupid one, but you can't even figure out who is the home, and away team. Don't play ballsnap with me I am not a block of spaghetti. I am not stupid enough to not know that awayrun sounds stupid. But homerun sounds even stupider! We need to come up with a different name for it all together where it is not subject to home, and away. I suggest quader. Then you'd have a single, double, triple, and quader. What is wrong with that? NOTHING! People are just set in old ways. Homerun makes no sense at all when they away team hits it. I for now on am calling balls (baseballs) that go over the fence in fair territory quaders, and I hope you join me.


That's baseball for you.

AL west preview

Hey guys! This is my first blog on blogger.com! I was going to start my own website, but I don't know how and I don't have any money (lol) anyways seriously my first blog is going to be about baseball. As you can probably tell by the title of this blog (heh) anyways though seriously. I'm going to be previewing the AL west division. Let's list the teams

Seattle Mariners:

Texas Rangers:

LAA:

Oakland Athletics:

Now the AL west isn't the biggest division out there, so you're probably asking "why is this dude not previewing the AL east" well because everyone is doing that I thought I would be different (hah) anyways though like really seriously. Okay so the way I look at the AL west is like the shy hot girl that nobody knows about you know? She has on glasses, and her hair up but when the Mariners roll in to town this year. Her hair is going to go down, and her glasses will be gone, hair will be down, and acne no more. That's right I think the Mariners will be the top dog in this division. Let me explain myself.

They got CLIFF LEE!!!! Cliff Lee for crying out loud. The dude is a fucking bromaster. He can pitch, and you double that with fucking Felix Hernandez, oh shit? Seriously? They just gonna go, and do that. How the heck are you supposed to beat those dudes? But hey hey hey what about Adrian Beltre leaving YO ADRIAN (rofl) no seriously though. It doesn't matter about him leaving because they got Chone Figgins now. Anybody who spells Sean, like Chone is a badass in my opinion. I just think the Mariners are going to dominate to be honest with you. I mean of course you got the angels who have like won the division every year since like 2006? So you can't count them out, but they just old. I mean who did they pick up? Fucking Hideki Matsui? Yeah he was good maybe a year ago.

I know you Ranger fans are probably wondering "Hey hey hey what about the Rangers we finished second last year" Yeah well Seattle wasn't as good last year you dinglelopper. When you face Seattle in a 3 game series, and have to face Cliff and Felix tell me how that goes. You got Vlad? and Harden? Both will be hurt before I finish this blog (lmao) no but seriously. You can't trust them to be healthy all season. Who is their manager? That dorky looking dude? Ron Washington? Man he cracks me up, yo. I'd like to see them in the playoffs just so I could watch that dude, but there ain't no way they making it to the playoffs. What about Oakland? Man fuck Oakland they ain't going to do shit. Here are my predictions.

Seattle Mariners: 101-61
LAA: 87-75
Texas Rangers: 79-83
Oakland Atheltics: 67-95

Well there you have it! Why don't you just congratulate the Mariners now (hahaahaha) No seriously. I do think they will win, though. So That's baseball for you.