Booing Colby Lewis.

On August 29th Colby Lewis had one of his few bad games. He's been a very solid pitcher for the Rangers and has had some terribly luck in his past few starts. He's been stuck at 9 wins for way too long but hasn't seemed to let it get to him. After today's game though the frustration came through and during his postgame interview he mentioned how he didn't appreciate getting booed. He was "disappointed" and thought "our fans were better than that" now the people that were booing him were not right. If they knew anything about the team they would know that he is one of our best pitchers and if anybody should be booed right now it's the lineup as a whole. Let's go further than that. You don't boo a guy going out there doing his best giving the team a chance to win. You don't boo again who wears glasses when he's not pitching looks like an average joe, yet can pitch like a #2 starter. You don't boo that guy, no. You wanna know who you boo?

Boo yourself. Look in the mirror, and boo yourself. This team is in first place by 7.5 games and you wanna boo cause the game you happened to see was a bad one. BOO YOURSELF! Go do it now then come back and talk to me and apologize to Colby. Should Colby had kept his mouth shut? Probably. BUT YOU DON'T BOO A GUY WHO IS GOING OUT THERE GIVING IT HIS ALL YOU JUST DON'T DO IT! I mean come on, guys. Come on. You look at his record and see 9-11 and you probably think he sucks. Don't lie to me, you think he sucks. Well how about you look at real stats and watch the games? How about that, you fat drunk. I bet the kid who was sitting next to you was wondering why your fat self was booing one of the best pitchers on the team. I hope he put nachos on your chair angels in the outfield style. Knowing your fatass though you probably ate them, you sick fat bastard. I bet the only time you stood up during the whole game was so that you could boo him.


Stretch those sausage links you call legs. Walk a little bit. I mean I know rolling up those escalators was tiring for you but maybe you would have lost a few pounds if you took the stairs, you fatty. Go to a gym with a big mirror, and while you're running on the treadmill just boo your fucking self. Boo those pounds off you miserable dip shit.

The mantis

It all started in Baltimore the place where no one goes for vacation, according to "ab03" then again that is fucking hyperbole, you bitch. Anyways it started there. Baltimore the city of I don't fucking know but it has to have something, right? Well it does now. It's the starting ground for the great Mantis. The rally fucking Mantis who started a 4 game winning streak for us! The rangers crew interviewed a kid during the game who happened to find a wild mantis, and proceeded to let it crawl all over him. This of course started a meme on lonestarball.com the greatest website ever. Besides this one, of course. The Mantis became huge! People were posting any picture of the Mantis they could find, and after we won it became even bigger. There was even some connection to the cockroach and as we all know Arias got DFA'D two days later, I believe after the Mantis game. The rangers won three straight games after baltimore against the first place Twins and I'd like to think it was because of the Mantis partly. So would hundreds of other people on lonestarball and I wouldn't want to disagree with them, trust me you don't want to do it.

The Mantis became the greatest thing to hit lonestarball since Knox fell off the skateboard, while racing a skateboarding dog. After four days and four wins straight the Mantis drew attention to the great people of Rangers ballpark. Leading the great people is Chuck Morgan if you don't know who he is, you should. He is the best person. Well, he's tied with the new part owner of the Rangers, Chuck Greenberg. The two apparently found out about the Mantis and liked it so much they wanted lonestarball's pictures of the Mantis, to put on the Big Screen at the ballpark. So I thought why not make something real quick, and see what happens? So I did and it made it on the Big Screen! Something I made was on the Big Screen at the ballpark where my favorite team plays. I know it's a geeky thing to get excited about, but I'm very excited. Thank you Chuck and Chuck for giving a fan a very exciting moment on a very sucky day. That's baseball for you.

A list of jokes

I'm going to come up with jokes on the spot in this blog as I write. Here we go.


So a bunny and a rabbit walk into a bar and the bartender asks "Are you two twins?"

If a banana fell off a counter what would it say? "Oh that's gonna bruise"

A banana and a penis walk into a bar and the bartender asks "Are you two twins?"

A taco and a vagina walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What would you like to drink?"

There once was a boy named Johnny and he had hair down to his ass, and a boy asked him "Why do you have such long hair?" and Johnny replied "Because I haven't cut it yet"

What do you call a person who weighs over 400 pounds? Fat.


How many tigers would it take in order to take over the world? 543.


Why did the emo boy cross the road? Cause he didn't have a car.


What did the cow say to the chicken? "Moo"


How many Jersey Shore cast members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, and one to pull the other one away from it.

Mark Cuban and the Texas Rangers

There is some speculation going on that Mark Cuban might end up being the owner of the Texas Rangers. Yes the dude in the picture. Yes it's true I picked a silly picture of him to show how silly he is, and that might not be exactly fair oh well though. Mark Cuban is obviously not just silly he is a very smart man. Look at what all he has done. He owns a freaking NBA team for crying out loud. A pretty good NBA team. I mean sure they can't win a championship, but as a Ranger fan I have no room to talk. I've watched my share of Dallas Mavericks game, and I know about Mark Cuban. I know how he acts on the sidelines, and the silly things he says and I know how much some people hate him. Me? I don't hate him. I don't even dislike him. I kind of like him, and I like his passion for the team. My only worry is that its passion for basketball and the Mavericks. Where is his sudden interest for the Rangers coming from? Is it his love of baseball and the Rangers? I doubt it. You doubt it. We all doubt it. It would be fun to see how into it he would get, though. Come with me in my dream land and lets visit what it'd be like if Mark Cuban went to the booth with Josh and Tag.

Josh: We're back, and we're lucky enough to have the new owner of the Texas Rangers in the booth. Mark Cuban. How are you doing, Mark?

Mark: I am doing great. So happy that this thing is settled now, and we can look forward to keep
building this team into the dynasty it needs to be.

Tag: When did you decide that you might be really interested in buying the Rangers?

Mark: Well at first I wasn't really interested, oh what the fuck? Did you even see that ump? Shit that was the length of my dick plus 5 inches outside. Where the fuck is your dog? You blind piece of shit. Anyways like I was saying I wasn't interested in them at first. You know I was interested in the Cubs, but it didn't work out. Then the Rangers increasingly became more interesting to me. So I decided to bite the bullet. Plus they're in the same area where the Mavericks are, and it just seemed right.

Josh: How much of the interest came after they had a commanding lead in their division?

Josh giggles a bit.

Mark: Ha you know it's funny you asked because believe it or not it was actually....oh COME ON! WHAT THE FUCK UMP! He was halfway into the outfield before the ball got to first. I could have made that call with your mom's titties in my face. You sack of shit. How did you get hired? How many cocks did you blow? Really honestly how many? I want to know. I'm asking seriously. Like I said though it was actually before they started playing well.


Tag: You're going to have so many apologies to say after the break. I once said "shit" on air, and it was bad. Oh shit I said it again. Motherfucker now I'm going to have to act like I care, and say sorry.

Josh: One and one the count to Borbon.

Mark: Make that two balls if the ump wasn't A BLIND FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Josh: You know they do their best out there. It's a hot day out there.

Mark: Oh what are you? Their publicist? Don't you have a chargers game to announce?

Tag: We have some goodies in the booth tonight. Thank you to Aretha Lanks for the wonderful batch of oatmeal pies she sent in today. Said they're homemade, so thank you very much Aretha.

Mark: Homemade my ass. I tasted one, and it taste just like little debbies. Aretha learn how to cook, and try again.

Josh: Borbon is out on a bunt attempt, and that concludes our time with Mark. Thanks for coming up.

Mark: Fuck you.




Hmmmm........bring on the cubes!