Breaking up

Normally I post funny stuff about baseball well not funny stuff. I post stuff about baseball, and usually it's not serious. Recently though I had a break up with my girlfriend of over two years and its fucking hard. I think its going to be for the best in the long run, and thats why I did it but it doesn't make it any less hard right now. Because you're living right now. You're not in the future yet. Right now it still hurts and right now theres still part of me that whats to take it all back. It wasn't working though there was more arguments than there were good times, and it wasn't healthy. If we both kept doing that then we might stop loving each other or something, and I don't want to ever get to that point with her because I do love and care about her a lot. As long she'll let me be in her life I'll be in it. I just think I realized as a couple we might just not work. As much as I wanted it too and denied it for a long time it just won't work.


It really sucks and I just want it to be all over with like I want it to a year in the future already and maybe it wouldn't be so bad. Right now it is and I'm sure it will be for awhile. I just hope she doesn't hate me completely and still want to be in contact because I don't want to lose her. Love is a weird thing, and after something like this it makes me not want to be in a relationship ever again because what if this happens again? I don't want it to happen again, but that is life right? Just like baseball you're going to fail sometimes, but maybe in the end it doesn't look so bad. If you go 0 for 4 in 8 innings and then hit a walkoff homerun the night doesn't look as bad. So maybe thats life and maybe you go 0 for 5 and then you walkoff with the right person, and maybe the right person is the person you don't think is right, right now. Who fucking knows really. Right now though I want to stay in the dugout for awhile, maybe talk with my friends, chew on sunflower seeds trying to break the shell of pain that I am in, and then maybe when the time calls I'll pick up my bat, and take another swing. If I miss then I'll try again.


Thats life for you.